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I Adore YouIt takes all my self-control
Not to take your hand
To squeeze your fingers so tight
Until the very core of your bones ache for me
To promise you I'll never let you feel alone
That in your darkness
I will never leave you
Even if you beg me
I won't go
I'll grab your hands and kiss you
I'll break the silence on your tongue
For how badly I want to hear you laugh
To see your lovely, stupid smile
And to know,
That you're going to be alright again
Because I adore you
More than words can say
More than thousands of poems
And buckets of used pens,
Ashes of burnt up pages
Useless stories
That could never say how m
Not SorryI'm sorry I'm a fuck-up
That I don't do as I'm told
I'm sorry I'm not submissive and that your words don't stop me cold
I don't give fuck if you hate me
That's just the worthless slut that I am
I don't care if you don't love me
Its just another blow
I'll shrug it off and walk away
Because I just don't care anymore
I'm watching every dream I have ever had crumble down around me
Your fist keeps on striking me and I don't feel a thing
I'll tear up this paper
I'll break everything in sight until there's silence
And you shut your mouth
I won't stop this pain (this pleasure) until I'm restored
It's a dirty, filthy path
HereI want you here with me
Under these trees
In petal covered grass
Leaning up against you and talking like we should
My muse, my heart-I want your peace and your sorrow
I want you in shadow or in sunlight
In depaire or in the high life
I want you, my night sky
My welcome heartache
My inspiration
My lover, my soul
My best friend, my partner
No matter how much anger, or hate fills me, I want you
I feel it inside me
I know it in my mind
I want your trust, your friendship
If I earn nothing more,
Beileve me....its fine.
HateBut I hate myself
I hate my fucking pride
And how much I speak out
I wish I could stop living
And just fall into your arms
Listen to your kind voice
Singing me to sleep
And your touch on my face
I wish I wasn't so stupid
That I have come to love you
I wish I could just leave
Because I have nothing left to say
I love you more than anything
But I don't even care
I just hate myself
I just
          want
                       to
                                    DIE.
IncreasingI don't like pain
I hate the way my scissors sting
I don't care for the way blood sticks to my wrists
The cotton itching against my opened skin
But I do like the feeling
The way I slump to the floor in reilef
My ignorance of the depth increasing
I don't like the pain
But I do love the feeling
The progress of the depth increasing
God, I love the feeling
Of the only peace I've known
That embrace that I have,
It may be the only one
The calming voice of skin splitting
The gentle smile of blood on silver
The only feeling of love I know
Getting stronger
As the depth's increasing
GoodnightThe words
They pound inside my skull
They scream
They hurt, the things he says
I know better but I don't want to
But when I close my eyes to sleep they flash
Etch into my skin
Burn across my eyes
Two words
I've pleaded to hear so desperately
But dripping
Drops of liquor
From the wrong tongue, with a kiss that burns like salt
   "Goodnight beautiful."
I'm FineI can't do this
I can't walk in smiling like everything is fine
Because its not
I can't put on a nice dress and act like I feel beautiful
Because I don't
I can't smile and laugh like I'm not dying
I don't want to walk in and see them
Her, in the place that I should be
Everyone having someone
A friend, a partner
Everyone but me
I can't just sit here
Crying my eyes out over this dress
Watching my anger hit the floor in shining, smaller teardrops
I can't hold it together
I can't do it anymore
All You Are Is MistShut up.
None of you are there
You promised.
You promised me you would never leave
I trusted you and you abandoned me
You left me like the worthless wretch I am
There is nothing left. Do you hear me?! Nothing!
You aren't there! None of you are there!
So just shut up.
And I'll cut
And cut
Under I can see that blood...
Like honey, a drug
Relief so hypnotic I stagger
The only cure...
You...my precious lover..
You are gone
All you are is mist.
A StrangerIts strange to see you
After all these months
This past year
The hell fires I fought through
Isn't it unfair?
How this little exchange works?
That you breaking me made me who I am
But who I am
Is someone who could have loved you
Wholly, fully.
Without limits.
The little quirks that this battle installed in me
Are things that could have saved me
Am I really?
Thinking about you?
Again?
About the way its been planned
That no matter how desprete I am,
For anyone, not just you
That I'm never going back
To anyone, not just you
This smarter, stronger girl
Is never being held again
Not with scencerity
Or co
HappyIf you're happy, I'm happy
If you're ok, so am I
But I am so lonely
I am being devoured by my sorrow
The sadness that runs too deep
A brand on my neck
Blood screaming from my hands
I wish I was the smile on your mouth
The laughter in your daydreams
The flavor of strawberries on your tongue
I'm so hungry
So starved of the safety I have in your arms
Desperate for you affection
Such a pathetic sight
Me, begging on my hands and knees
So hopeless
So pathetic
Longing to belong With nobody but you
I've never had anybody smile at me the way you do
Or make me feel so at ease
I'm pathetic for wanting you
Craving
Sneak InSneak in the window
I won't tell
Just curl up under the covers with me and hold me
Her brown eyes are closed
I just need one night
Of harmless teasing
Your mouth on my forehead
My fingers digging into your shirt, I'm shaking
Your own tears touch my cheeks when you kiss me-you commit the fatal sin
But with your hands in my hair it doesn't matter
The man and his adulteress burning in the fire they created
Your knuckles stroking my jaw
You kiss me and tighten your hold over and over
Since when its dawn you have to leave
The sun starts rising
And you're crying too
Because you don't want to leave
I make your life b
Shut Up, VoiceI'm not worthless
But you are
Today I'll tell him
He'll just laugh at you
I want to stop
But you can't
I'm tired of being broken
You'll never be whole again
I'm better than this
You are nothing
I'll stand up to them
They'll just hit you again
I could be perfect if I try
Not as perfect as her
I don't want to go down that road again
All you can do is crawl
I'm not going to cut today
You're going to write that note today
They'll have to stop, sometime
It's not going to end
Over and OverI didn't cut today
Because when I was angry I thought of you
Of how when you dominated my thoughts
You appeared in front of me
The sudden light in your eyes
I haven't seen it for so long
And how it took my breath away
I try to remember the shaking of my hands
My swimming vision
So captivated by the motion of your mouth
Hypnotized by the warm crescendo of your voice
Drowning in the heat of your gaze
I smile
When I wonder about my self-control
Wondering why I didn't kiss you
And promise you that she could never love you
Not as much as me
I don't understand anything, really
Why I continue this
Over and over
A
DarlingWon't you please touch me like you did today?
Gently, like you don't want to break me
Can you please look at me like you did that afternoon?
Like I am the only thing that matters?
Can you kiss me like you did while I was sleeping?
Passionately, roughly
Hold me like you did that day
Like you would fall apart if you let me go
Can you help me back to my feet?
Shield the sun from my eyes
I would do the same
I'd shoulder the bags you carry, on top of mine
I'd never leave you or hurt you
So could you do the same?
AddictAddict
Addict Addict Addict
A few more cuts
One more slice
A few more drops, a little bit deeper
Crazy
Crazy Crazy Crazy
To get off on your own pain
Messed up
I'm insane
Addict
You can call it poetic
Brave
Sympathetic
But at the end of the day
I'm nothing but an addict
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More from *malphasloveshisfries

HappyIf you're happy, I'm happy
If you're ok, so am I
But I am so lonely
I am being devoured by my sorrow
The sadness that runs too deep
A brand on my neck
Blood screaming from my hands
I wish I was the smile on your mouth
The laughter in your daydreams
The flavor of strawberries on your tongue
I'm so hungry
So starved of the safety I have in your arms
Desperate for you affection
Such a pathetic sight
Me, begging on my hands and knees
So hopeless
So pathetic
Longing to belong With nobody but you
I've never had anybody smile at me the way you do
Or make me feel so at ease
I'm pathetic for wanting you
Craving
Sinner-Prelude What would you do  if I told you, that right now we were at war?

This is not a squabble over oil, fought with weapons. Its not the kind of war that is simply a violent political pissing contest. This is the legendary war woven into the bedtime stories your mother and father told you as a child, that scared you into obedience. It is all around you with no rest.

Blood continues falling and coating the ground all around you, every minute with out fail. You don't notice, and until this instant you never would have.

You are about to witness the struggle, first hand.

Welcome to the war between heaven and hell.
HateBut I hate myself
I hate my fucking pride
And how much I speak out
I wish I could stop living
And just fall into your arms
Listen to your kind voice
Singing me to sleep
And your touch on my face
I wish I wasn't so stupid
That I have come to love you
I wish I could just leave
Because I have nothing left to say
I love you more than anything
But I don't even care
I just hate myself
I just
          want
                       to
                                    DIE.
AddictAddict
Addict Addict Addict
A few more cuts
One more slice
A few more drops, a little bit deeper
Crazy
Crazy Crazy Crazy
To get off on your own pain
Messed up
I'm insane
Addict
You can call it poetic
Brave
Sympathetic
But at the end of the day
I'm nothing but an addict
The Creation of the WorldBefore the start of anything, the birth of man or woman, the creation of animals and the formation of land masses, there was a war. Darkness was a thick blanket, constantly hovering over everything. It fought and fought, against something as insignificant as a tiny flicker of light trying to create life. As at this point there was no concept of time, no one knows how long this went on. For what must have been thousands of years the two entities destroyed nothing, going around in circles.

Then, the darkness came to the light while he was resting, tricking him into bed with her. As he slept beside her she killed him, and later birthed his chi
GoodnightThe words
They pound inside my skull
They scream
They hurt, the things he says
I know better but I don't want to
But when I close my eyes to sleep they flash
Etch into my skin
Burn across my eyes
Two words
I've pleaded to hear so desperately
But dripping
Drops of liquor
From the wrong tongue, with a kiss that burns like salt
   "Goodnight beautiful."

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October 2, 2012
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[x]

Forget Me

:iconmalphasloveshisfries:

Quietly you forget me
I'll slip away
Untwine my fingers from your warm hands
I was too late
I told you
I loved you
Just not how much
So now there's nothing left to do but watch you
And find solace in your peace
I'll take back my bags from you
I'll shoulder them myself
I'll do what people do
I'll play a sad song
(Or two)
And have a drink in your name
Maybe strike a match and burn your picure
Through my bitter sobs and angry tears
But maybe,
Tonight
I'll close my eyes and think of you
Your eyes
And your smile
Those odd things you'd try to hide so desperately
Those things that made you so real to me
I hope
One day
I'll find that there is someone like you in my life, once more
But I loved you for all the wrong reasons
I only wanted you because you made me want someone
I ached for you only because I didn't ache anymore
I was an idiot for feeling so happy
I wasn't worth the effort
And now you are not worth my time
So now
I'm going to sit back
And watch
As I let you forget me   
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
"Can you lie next to her? And give her your heart?
As well as your body
And can you lie next to her, and confess your love?
As well as your folly
And can you kneel before the king and say I'm clean?
But tell me now, where was my fault?
In loving you with my whole heart?
-A White Blank Page; Mumford & Sons-
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:iconsupergirlswag:
Mood: Wow! *SuperGirlSwag Oct 4, 2012
damn !! It's so good and true... I mean it's real, it's fucking real! that's why it is so amazing!
great job my dear! I love it!
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Oct 4, 2012  Student Writer
That you sweetie! :D :heart: :blowkiss:
Reply
:iconsmallsmiles:
~smallsmiles Oct 3, 2012
Beautiful.
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Oct 4, 2012  Student Writer
Why thank you! :D
Reply
:iconshadows-seductress:
Mood: Affection ~Shadows-Seductress Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm speechless.
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Oct 4, 2012  Student Writer
Why thank ya.
Reply
:iconinchaotus:
~Inchaotus Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Interesting, and certainly a more approach on the topic than I'm used to seeing around here. It leaves me wanting to know more, honestly, because it's something I've only recently begun to understand.

I love the work. Very well done. Thanks for making it.

This will require more thought and musing. That's a piece of high praise, from me...
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Oct 4, 2012  Student Writer
Ohmygosh. :blush: Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm really happy you enjoyed it! :heart:
(I've retyped this like eight times to try to get my gratitude across. Ahahaha.)
Reply
:iconinchaotus:
~Inchaotus Oct 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, don't worry about it. You made it. That's the hard part, not me liking it.
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Oct 4, 2012  Student Writer
Your support means a lot though. :3 Its people like you who enjoy my work that keep me growing.
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