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Forget MeQuietly you forget me
I'll slip away
Untwine my fingers from your warm hands
I was too late
I told you
I loved you
Just not how much
So now there's nothing left to do but watch you
And find solace in your peace
I'll take back my bags from you
I'll shoulder them myself
I'll do what people do
I'll play a sad song
(Or two)
And have a drink in your name
Maybe strike a match and burn your picure
Through my bitter sobs and angry tears
But maybe,
Tonight
I'll close my eyes and think of you
Your eyes
And your smile
Those odd things you'd try to hide so desperately
Those things that made you so real to me
HateBut I hate myself
I hate my fucking pride
And how much I speak out
I wish I could stop living
And just fall into your arms
Listen to your kind voice
Singing me to sleep
And your touch on my face
I wish I wasn't so stupid
That I have come to love you
I wish I could just leave
Because I have nothing left to say
I love you more than anything
But I don't even care
I just hate myself
I just
          want
                       to
                                    DIE.
I Adore YouIt takes all my self-control
Not to take your hand
To squeeze your fingers so tight
Until the very core of your bones ache for me
To promise you I'll never let you feel alone
That in your darkness
I will never leave you
Even if you beg me
I won't go
I'll grab your hands and kiss you
I'll break the silence on your tongue
For how badly I want to hear you laugh
To see your lovely, stupid smile
And to know,
That you're going to be alright again
Because I adore you
More than words can say
More than thousands of poems
And buckets of used pens,
Ashes of burnt up pages
Useless stories
That could never say how m
I'm FineI can't do this
I can't walk in smiling like everything is fine
Because its not
I can't put on a nice dress and act like I feel beautiful
Because I don't
I can't smile and laugh like I'm not dying
I don't want to walk in and see them
Her, in the place that I should be
Everyone having someone
A friend, a partner
Everyone but me
I can't just sit here
Crying my eyes out over this dress
Watching my anger hit the floor in shining, smaller teardrops
I can't hold it together
I can't do it anymore
AliveI want to speak, cry for help, but I don't say a word.
I want you to hear me, so I cover your ears.
I want someone like you to see me, so I blindfold you.  
You make me feel like I'm not worthless.
I'm not neglected or alone anymore.
You're the only thing that makes me feel alive again.
You make me feel like I'm worth the trouble, I'm an even trade for the pain, and all the heartache I put you through.
How hard is it just to lean down, whisper in my ear those four worthless words:
"You are worth it."
How hard is it? Just to hold my hand and tell me that things are going to be alright?
That this isn't as fucked up as
Figure It OutI've figured it out
Why when I think of you I break down
Because everyday I plunge deeper into this blackness
And I can't see the truth
As horrible as that sounds
But I don't know
If your just what you seem
A liar and deciever
Or if the way you look at me means something
But the reason I'm sobbing is simple
I think I'm falling in love with you
Slowly, but steadily
And I can't make it stop
No matter how bad I want to
It would be better for everyone if I was gone
And I didn't stumble over my own feet around you
I'm crying because I know I'll get hurt
But I'm powerless to stop myself from wanting you
Better Than the OriginalYou make me feel different
You take my breath away
And stare at me
With eyes
Hypnotic, affectionate
You're the one thing I despretely need
Stepping close enough to me I feel your hair brushing my forehead
Angling your head down
Like you want me
Just as much as I need you
Making my skin feel warm
Plugging my wounds
Making me whole again
Thank you.
RegretsFeel them?
Weigh you down
Since rash decisions make you spin around
You stop and stare
Wonder wonder
Is there something there?
Brush your fingers across my hand
Not a mistake because I can feel you there
Squeeze my fingers
Smile at me
Hand goes numb
You miss me?
Finally after three long months you feel my pain
Only memories remain
Your eyes scream your pain
"I never stopped loving you
I couldn't if I tried
You are my first, my one and only
Please, one more chance
Please."
Fix Your HeadUnderstand him
Don't over think things
Just remember all the good things he's done
Be kind to him
If you trust him, he won't hurt you
But this isn't only about you
Its about him too
Inhale, exhale
Slip under the radar
Take him with you
Escape from the insanity
Mantra"Your fine
Your going to be ok"
A broken mantra you hiss
Pushing your palms to your cheeks
Sobbing while
Everything in you pulls apart and breaks
"Tell me!"
Screaming now
Choking on what is left of your sanity
Begging for an answer
And now you feel sick
Because your still stuck
No matter how hard you try
You can't
Can't move on
Can't live
Can't explain
Can't breathe
Anymore at all
Too gaurded to understand
There Are Two Sides to Every StoryIs this an act?
Do you want me back?

Something else?
Like what?

That empty smile mercilessly knifed across your face
The reflection of my own broken soul in your eyes
Is that supossed to mean you over me?
Your stares in my direction
And the first time I've seen true light in your eyes

So today
Your little act
And secret stares
Feather light smile weighed down by guilt

Convincing as they might be
Sweetie, don't even try to say your over me
What Have You DoneWhat did you do to me?
Did you really have that much power over me?
Now I can't even feel the sun on my face
Without feeling like its not light but death clawing across my skin?

That I can't look at so much as a picture
Of grass and summer
With out feeling sick

Did you really have to destory me?
And rip something as beautiful as you away from me?

What the hell is wrong with you
I love you but I just don't care
Because now my main concern is this-

What the fuck did you do to me?!
Did You Forget?Did you forget the silk of his hands
Slipping under the front of your shirt and teasing your skin
And his lips sucking under your collarbones
Leaving sultry, purple marks

You could never forget
The way his kiss is, rough and hard
Salty and sweet
The taste of his tongue and the bulk of his shoulders

But how did I forget, something I never had?
GoodnightThe words
They pound inside my skull
They scream
They hurt, the things he says
I know better but I don't want to
But when I close my eyes to sleep they flash
Etch into my skin
Burn across my eyes
Two words
I've pleaded to hear so desperately
But dripping
Drops of liquor
From the wrong tongue, with a kiss that burns like salt
   "Goodnight beautiful."
DarlingWon't you please touch me like you did today?
Gently, like you don't want to break me
Can you please look at me like you did that afternoon?
Like I am the only thing that matters?
Can you kiss me like you did while I was sleeping?
Passionately, roughly
Hold me like you did that day
Like you would fall apart if you let me go
Can you help me back to my feet?
Shield the sun from my eyes
I would do the same
I'd shoulder the bags you carry, on top of mine
I'd never leave you or hurt you
So could you do the same?
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More from *malphasloveshisfries

She Will Never Know...Its ok
I won't say anything
She doesn't have to know
We are alone in this classroom
I may never see you again-make this count
A small secret, between lips teeth and tongue
Breathless, you cool mouth touching mine
Promises don't know
That secrets mean nothing
If you kiss me, I promise she will never know
And when you pull away and still want her-I will completely understand
But when you take a breath and all you want is more
I will be here
Waiting in this empty classroom
Keeping our secret safe
Hold me close
And I promise
She will never know. :heart:
Escape. Cancer. Addiction.Alchoholism. My escape.
Cutting. My addiction.
Depression. My cancer.
Self-mutilation. Drinking. Mental illness.
My worst enemies, my dearest friends.
Who started what?
Does the sickness start the addiction to the medication?
Or does my addiction become a disease?
Is my escape the problem? Or is it the side effect of addiction? A symptom?
This doesn't begin to illustrate my confusion.
My anger.
My pain.
I'm so sick.
Because this is all my fault.
Love is a disease. Its a silent killer. An anthrax.
Sweet, beautiful poison. Found on his lips.
My face is white-I'm dying.
Too sick to move.
I don't want to. I'd rath
How Much?I thought I'd finally caught a break
Maybe after all this pain I've found solitude
But the whole time you were looking at me, you pictured her
Everytime you found your way back to me it meant nothing
That look when you see me, was only because I reminded you of her
But how can you deny that?
The glint in your eyes and the way you let me touch you
This connection I feel to you even now
Do I mean something to you? Or was I just naive?
I still love you.
So much.
But I hate myself.
Because I love you.
                                      So much...
SkyYour eyes are like a sky
The deepest, richest blue
Cloudless, perfect, a void of escape
Not a sea taht I could drown in
Resting my head on the crook of your neck
Breathing in clean air
Instead of a plague you are a cure
The sweetest antidote
Intoxicating
This is a dream
Its unnatural-the way you make me feel
Is this a fantasy?
Or is it about to become my reality?
HerI want to hate her
She took you from me
My only, the person who mattered most to me
Snatched out of my life
I want to rip her to shreds
Drain the life from her like you stole the life from me
Write our initials in her blood
Laugh when I watch your heart shatter, like you did to me
Cruel, sick son of a bitch
But I know that she makes you happy
That she'll always come first
And she paints a smile on your face
I'm a liar.
You've never seemed more in pain that you have since I found out.
Knowing you didn't take a risk on me, but not knowing why.
Loving me more and more, but bound to her
I want to hate her
I reall
My WarriorThis is the best feeling in the world
Bare skin, curled under the blankets next to your sleeping frame
Your hair is still damp, behind your eyes you're smiling
I can see the muscles rippling under your flushed skin as your roll over onto your back
Deep breathing, most peaceful sleep you could wish for
Only because I'm with you
Shielding myself with the quilt
I want to reach out, to touch you
But you look so fragile, so thin and sculpted you might break
A marble statue of a warrior
Protecting me from these demons that plague me
Your eyes are so blue, and deep that I'm scared someone else will want you as bad as I do
Because
You're

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September 19, 2012
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[x]

Happy

:iconmalphasloveshisfries:

If you're happy, I'm happy
If you're ok, so am I
But I am so lonely
I am being devoured by my sorrow
The sadness that runs too deep
A brand on my neck
Blood screaming from my hands
I wish I was the smile on your mouth
The laughter in your daydreams
The flavor of strawberries on your tongue
I'm so hungry
So starved of the safety I have in your arms
Desperate for you affection
Such a pathetic sight
Me, begging on my hands and knees
So hopeless
So pathetic
Longing to belong With nobody but you
I've never had anybody smile at me the way you do
Or make me feel so at ease
I'm pathetic for wanting you
Craving you so greedily
But loving you so carefully
So selflessly
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
That Butler, Greedy!
I've been re reading Phobia. Don't judge. D:

More teenage angst~~Yay. <3

I am really not used to having some of my best friends (that I attend school with) on this account. So I'll upload some suicidal love poem and they'll be flipping out on me the next day and I'll be standing there just like: "what? I didn't say-oh! shit!"

Haha.

ILY GUYS.

:heart:
Ellie
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:iconshinuookami:
~ShinuOokami Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Just going to say i've read a lot of your poems, you do some amazing writing and i'm happy i followed you! However if you really feel this way know you can email me (thewafer@gmail.com) if you need someone anonymous to talk to!
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Oct 13, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you so much!!! :'D

And I will. ^_^ Tyvm!
Reply
:iconzannacox:
*ZannaCox Sep 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't think I say this to you often, but I am absolutely in love with your poetry, Em. :heart: I should make you a scrap book of the best ones, and then make it all nice and pretty. that way, if you ever decide to tell Him, you don't have to say anything at all. Just hand him the book. :heart::heart::heart:
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Sep 20, 2012  Student Writer
Why thank you. :D Your making me stiffely. :'D
Reply
:iconzannacox:
*ZannaCox Sep 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Actually, that's a good idea.... :iconshiftyplz:
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Sep 20, 2012  Student Writer
....why
Reply
:iconzannacox:
*ZannaCox Sep 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Beacause you'd get it out, and all youd have to do was get it to him somehow.

.... Without destroying my handy-work that is.
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Sep 22, 2012  Student Writer
nupe.
Reply
:iconthe-warden-rose:
~The-Warden-Rose Sep 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Haha it's cause we love you and we're scared for you sometimes :heart: feel our love and anger mixed together and let it fill the whole you've dug in yourself :)
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Sep 20, 2012  Student Writer
and drown me?
Reply
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