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DarlingWon't you please touch me like you did today?
Gently, like you don't want to break me
Can you please look at me like you did that afternoon?
Like I am the only thing that matters?
Can you kiss me like you did while I was sleeping?
Passionately, roughly
Hold me like you did that day
Like you would fall apart if you let me go
Can you help me back to my feet?
Shield the sun from my eyes
I would do the same
I'd shoulder the bags you carry, on top of mine
I'd never leave you or hurt you
So could you do the same?
ScreamingI won't cry
No matter how many nights I lay here screaming
I will not let a tear fall
I'll seal this bottle shut
Then I'll drink this one down...
Just hazy
Tiny
Miscroscopic red marks until the aching goes away
Night after night
Smear away the gore
Shaking in relief
But whimpering in fear
Because slowly, they will become deeper
And his touch, it will grow colder
And you will find your self screaming
All alone in his house
Pounding on the bedroom door
While he's holding her and you keep screaming
But nobody can hear you
Because you are all alone

                  Because you cannot stop.
Forget MeQuietly you forget me
I'll slip away
Untwine my fingers from your warm hands
I was too late
I told you
I loved you
Just not how much
So now there's nothing left to do but watch you
And find solace in your peace
I'll take back my bags from you
I'll shoulder them myself
I'll do what people do
I'll play a sad song
(Or two)
And have a drink in your name
Maybe strike a match and burn your picure
Through my bitter sobs and angry tears
But maybe,
Tonight
I'll close my eyes and think of you
Your eyes
And your smile
Those odd things you'd try to hide so desperately
Those things that made you so real to me
HateBut I hate myself
I hate my fucking pride
And how much I speak out
I wish I could stop living
And just fall into your arms
Listen to your kind voice
Singing me to sleep
And your touch on my face
I wish I wasn't so stupid
That I have come to love you
I wish I could just leave
Because I have nothing left to say
I love you more than anything
But I don't even care
I just hate myself
I just
          want
                       to
                                    DIE.
I Adore YouIt takes all my self-control
Not to take your hand
To squeeze your fingers so tight
Until the very core of your bones ache for me
To promise you I'll never let you feel alone
That in your darkness
I will never leave you
Even if you beg me
I won't go
I'll grab your hands and kiss you
I'll break the silence on your tongue
For how badly I want to hear you laugh
To see your lovely, stupid smile
And to know,
That you're going to be alright again
Because I adore you
More than words can say
More than thousands of poems
And buckets of used pens,
Ashes of burnt up pages
Useless stories
That could never say how m
AddictAddict
Addict Addict Addict
A few more cuts
One more slice
A few more drops, a little bit deeper
Crazy
Crazy Crazy Crazy
To get off on your own pain
Messed up
I'm insane
Addict
You can call it poetic
Brave
Sympathetic
But at the end of the day
I'm nothing but an addict
HappyIf you're happy, I'm happy
If you're ok, so am I
But I am so lonely
I am being devoured by my sorrow
The sadness that runs too deep
A brand on my neck
Blood screaming from my hands
I wish I was the smile on your mouth
The laughter in your daydreams
The flavor of strawberries on your tongue
I'm so hungry
So starved of the safety I have in your arms
Desperate for you affection
Such a pathetic sight
Me, begging on my hands and knees
So hopeless
So pathetic
Longing to belong With nobody but you
I've never had anybody smile at me the way you do
Or make me feel so at ease
I'm pathetic for wanting you
Craving
Sneak InSneak in the window
I won't tell
Just curl up under the covers with me and hold me
Her brown eyes are closed
I just need one night
Of harmless teasing
Your mouth on my forehead
My fingers digging into your shirt, I'm shaking
Your own tears touch my cheeks when you kiss me-you commit the fatal sin
But with your hands in my hair it doesn't matter
The man and his adulteress burning in the fire they created
Your knuckles stroking my jaw
You kiss me and tighten your hold over and over
Since when its dawn you have to leave
The sun starts rising
And you're crying too
Because you don't want to leave
I make your life b
Shut Up, VoiceI'm not worthless
But you are
Today I'll tell him
He'll just laugh at you
I want to stop
But you can't
I'm tired of being broken
You'll never be whole again
I'm better than this
You are nothing
I'll stand up to them
They'll just hit you again
I could be perfect if I try
Not as perfect as her
I don't want to go down that road again
All you can do is crawl
I'm not going to cut today
You're going to write that note today
They'll have to stop, sometime
It's not going to end
HereI want you here with me
Under these trees
In petal covered grass
Leaning up against you and talking like we should
My muse, my heart-I want your peace and your sorrow
I want you in shadow or in sunlight
In depaire or in the high life
I want you, my night sky
My welcome heartache
My inspiration
My lover, my soul
My best friend, my partner
No matter how much anger, or hate fills me, I want you
I feel it inside me
I know it in my mind
I want your trust, your friendship
If I earn nothing more,
Beileve me....its fine.
All You Are Is MistShut up.
None of you are there
You promised.
You promised me you would never leave
I trusted you and you abandoned me
You left me like the worthless wretch I am
There is nothing left. Do you hear me?! Nothing!
You aren't there! None of you are there!
So just shut up.
And I'll cut
And cut
Under I can see that blood...
Like honey, a drug
Relief so hypnotic I stagger
The only cure...
You...my precious lover..
You are gone
All you are is mist.
Not SorryI'm sorry I'm a fuck-up
That I don't do as I'm told
I'm sorry I'm not submissive and that your words don't stop me cold
I don't give fuck if you hate me
That's just the worthless slut that I am
I don't care if you don't love me
Its just another blow
I'll shrug it off and walk away
Because I just don't care anymore
I'm watching every dream I have ever had crumble down around me
Your fist keeps on striking me and I don't feel a thing
I'll tear up this paper
I'll break everything in sight until there's silence
And you shut your mouth
I won't stop this pain (this pleasure) until I'm restored
It's a dirty, filthy path
Your LoveYour love is whiskey
Burning sweet
Sultry tangy bitter drops piercing my tongue
Gulps in my throat
The more I take, the more regrets I'll have
Were falling and tangling up
Further and further
At our breaking point
Shattering on the bathroom floor
Into pieces, broken bottles and hoarse screams
Mixing with pouring water and empty promises
Digging nails into skin
Whiskey spilling over onto the bed
Table tops and soaking clothes
Bitter
Addicting
                    Your love is like whiskey
A StrangerIts strange to see you
After all these months
This past year
The hell fires I fought through
Isn't it unfair?
How this little exchange works?
That you breaking me made me who I am
But who I am
Is someone who could have loved you
Wholly, fully.
Without limits.
The little quirks that this battle installed in me
Are things that could have saved me
Am I really?
Thinking about you?
Again?
About the way its been planned
That no matter how desprete I am,
For anyone, not just you
That I'm never going back
To anyone, not just you
This smarter, stronger girl
Is never being held again
Not with scencerity
Or co
Did You Forget?Did you forget the silk of his hands
Slipping under the front of your shirt and teasing your skin
And his lips sucking under your collarbones
Leaving sultry, purple marks

You could never forget
The way his kiss is, rough and hard
Salty and sweet
The taste of his tongue and the bulk of his shoulders

But how did I forget, something I never had?
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More from *malphasloveshisfries

for all the same reasonsi wonder if you are as tense as i am
if your dreams are as fire-filled
if you still fantasize about what we could have done
hearing about how they can love each other arouses jealousy
pain
because now my walls are caving in

i want what they have so badly
the chance to touch your face
feel your left hand running up my side to my chest

im desperate to feel that hot beauty again
the sense of just you being with me
to know your there
to feel everything your doing to my body
watch your face change when i'm exposed

i can't help how bad i want you
i'm scared what i'll do if you come back
how far will you take me
how far
killerchills on my spine
watch him walk by
feel my muscles tighten
i tip back my head and sigh

i cold dream about you forever
fantasize about your blood
i wonder how it would look on my hands
what about your body on my floor
the chill returning up and down my arms

its been to hard these last three months
to not see someone die

my hands start shaking with lust
when ever i see your eyes

aroused and now intrigued
i can't stop wanting you with me

as you climb into the car and kiss me 'hello'
i wonder how long it will be

maybe i have you back
but the monster is still in me!
thinki'm strong enough to handle this
i'm brave enough to breathe with out your kiss
i'm sure i have the courage to be just friends

but i don't think i could see you in pain
with out reaching for your hand
i don't think i could sit across the table from you
without leaning over to kiss you

i know for a fact if i try to be with you
this pain would just get worse
i'm sure that you would do the same for me

could you see me in pain?
leaning against the door?
crying because my entire life has split over the floor?

are you strong enough to do nothing?
just to bite your tongue and watch?
or would you stop and crumble
just at my firs
i'm trying...you've already explained
but still I don't understand

just four days before you had your arm around me
just eighteen days before you told me that you would never, ever leave
just the week before I was comfortable, dozing in your arms
just twelve hours earlier you said "I love you"

I remember every moment that you held me tight against you
and begged for me to let you hold me

I wish you were hear to hold me now
while I'm bleeding out on my bedroom floor
listening to your 'I love you' scrolling through my head

I'm trying to understand your cruelty
I'm trying to breathe through this pain
I'm trying to conceal the darkness in
your goodbyeyou say your tired of being alone
that you need some to love
you're an idiot

you had one
you left her
you walked across that grate
you left behind the girl who's dying

you said you never wanted to hurt her
you said you just want to hold her

you said we're way too different
you said you still want to be friends

what happened to 'I love you'

how did it become goodbye?

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September 21, 2012
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[x]

I'm Fine

:iconmalphasloveshisfries:

I can't do this
I can't walk in smiling like everything is fine
Because its not
I can't put on a nice dress and act like I feel beautiful
Because I don't
I can't smile and laugh like I'm not dying
I don't want to walk in and see them
Her, in the place that I should be
Everyone having someone
A friend, a partner
Everyone but me
I can't just sit here
Crying my eyes out over this dress
Watching my anger hit the floor in shining, smaller teardrops
I can't hold it together
I can't do it anymore
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
So...my friends are trying to get me to go to homecoming...

Ellie.
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:icononlyforyou123:
~onlyforyou123 Oct 1, 2012  Student General Artist
So are mine. I've made up valid excuses though :)
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Oct 1, 2012  Student Writer
ahaha ikr
Reply
:iconzannacox:
*ZannaCox Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I know how you feel Em, I did that last year for homecoming; went with Alex, but he was dating this tiny Portorican girl I called "Jingles". I had been talking to Chase the previous day, and thought that i would just hang out with him. He didn't show up for an hour, and even when he got there I tried to dance with him and his friends, but I felt so out of place that I ended up sitting in the corner by the door. I felt very lonely, and for the whole dance I sat on a stool, trying to keep my tears in. Every so often though, I'd go jogging past the two, and wave, just to see how things were going.
Even now, every time I'm by myself at a major event like that without someone to talk to, get extremely lonely.
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Sep 23, 2012  Student Writer
:thumbsup:
Reply
:iconsapphiresphere:
~SapphireSphere Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I went alone.
I go alone to every dance.
Nobody ever asks me.
Nobody has ever asked me.
But I always go.
And end up feeling like a 3rd wheel.
And like I'm going to be a forever alone cat-lady
with tons of money and nobody to spend it on.
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Sep 22, 2012  Student Writer
:thumbsup:
Reply
:iconsapphiresphere:
~SapphireSphere Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
And now I'm confused...
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Sep 23, 2012  Student Writer
:thumbsup:
Reply
:iconsapphiresphere:
~SapphireSphere Sep 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*cries* Whyyyyyy?!
Reply
:iconmalphasloveshisfries:
*malphasloveshisfries Sep 23, 2012  Student Writer
...?
Reply
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