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I'm FineI can't do this
I can't walk in smiling like everything is fine
Because its not
I can't put on a nice dress and act like I feel beautiful
Because I don't
I can't smile and laugh like I'm not dying
I don't want to walk in and see them
Her, in the place that I should be
Everyone having someone
A friend, a partner
Everyone but me
I can't just sit here
Crying my eyes out over this dress
Watching my anger hit the floor in shining, smaller teardrops
I can't hold it together
I can't do it anymore

DarlingWon't you please touch me like you did today?
Gently, like you don't want to break me
Can you please look at me like you did that afternoon?
Like I am the only thing that matters?
Can you kiss me like you did while I was sleeping?
Passionately, roughly
Hold me like you did that day
Like you would fall apart if you let me go
Can you help me back to my feet?
Shield the sun from my eyes
I would do the same
I'd shoulder the bags you carry, on top of mine
I'd never leave you or hurt you
So could you do the same?

AddictAddict
Addict Addict Addict
A few more cuts
One more slice
A few more drops, a little bit deeper
Crazy
Crazy Crazy Crazy
To get off on your own pain
Messed up
I'm insane
Addict
You can call it poetic
Brave
Sympathetic
But at the end of the day
I'm nothing but an addict

Your LoveYour love is whiskey
Burning sweet
Sultry tangy bitter drops piercing my tongue
Gulps in my throat
The more I take, the more regrets I'll have
Were falling and tangling up
Further and further
At our breaking point
Shattering on the bathroom floor
Into pieces, broken bottles and hoarse screams
Mixing with pouring water and empty promises
Digging nails into skin
Whiskey spilling over onto the bed
Table tops and soaking clothes
Bitter
Addicting
Your love is like whiskey

A StrangerIts strange to see you
After all these months
This past year
The hell fires I fought through
Isn't it unfair?
How this little exchange works?
That you breaking me made me who I am
But who I am
Is someone who could have loved you
Wholly, fully.
Without limits.
The little quirks that this battle installed in me
Are things that could have saved me
Am I really?
Thinking about you?
Again?
About the way its been planned
That no matter how desprete I am,
For anyone, not just you
That I'm never going back
To anyone, not just you
This smarter, stronger girl
Is never being held again
Not with scencerity
Or co

IncreasingI don't like pain
I hate the way my scissors sting
I don't care for the way blood sticks to my wrists
The cotton itching against my opened skin
But I do like the feeling
The way I slump to the floor in reilef
My ignorance of the depth increasing
I don't like the pain
But I do love the feeling
The progress of the depth increasing
God, I love the feeling
Of the only peace I've known
That embrace that I have,
It may be the only one
The calming voice of skin splitting
The gentle smile of blood on silver
The only feeling of love I know
Getting stronger
As the depth's increasing

I'll be here for YouI'll be here for you
when no one else is
To love you
to care for you

Being in your arms
being there for you
to hold you tightly
and never let you go

I'll be here for you
when you feel left alone
with no one to love
I'll be here for you

To care for you
to love you
until the end
of our lives

I'll be here for you
to keep you safe
to be here
and to love you

Like you never felt this way before
I'll hold you tight
face this world together
with no one else in sight
But you and I

Forget MeQuietly you forget me
I'll slip away
Untwine my fingers from your warm hands
I was too late
I told you
I loved you
Just not how much
So now there's nothing left to do but watch you
And find solace in your peace
I'll take back my bags from you
I'll shoulder them myself
I'll do what people do
I'll play a sad song
(Or two)
And have a drink in your name
Maybe strike a match and burn your picure
Through my bitter sobs and angry tears
But maybe,
Tonight
I'll close my eyes and think of you
Your eyes
And your smile
Those odd things you'd try to hide so desperately
Those things that made you so real to me

HateBut I hate myself
I hate my fucking pride
And how much I speak out
I wish I could stop living
And just fall into your arms
Listen to your kind voice
Singing me to sleep
And your touch on my face
I wish I wasn't so stupid
That I have come to love you
I wish I could just leave
Because I have nothing left to say
I love you more than anything
But I don't even care
I just hate myself
I just
want
to
DIE.

I Adore YouIt takes all my self-control
Not to take your hand
To squeeze your fingers so tight
Until the very core of your bones ache for me
To promise you I'll never let you feel alone
That in your darkness
I will never leave you
Even if you beg me
I won't go
I'll grab your hands and kiss you
I'll break the silence on your tongue
For how badly I want to hear you laugh
To see your lovely, stupid smile
And to know,
That you're going to be alright again
Because I adore you
More than words can say
More than thousands of poems
And buckets of used pens,
Ashes of burnt up pages
Useless stories
That could never say how m

HappyIf you're happy, I'm happy
If you're ok, so am I
But I am so lonely
I am being devoured by my sorrow
The sadness that runs too deep
A brand on my neck
Blood screaming from my hands
I wish I was the smile on your mouth
The laughter in your daydreams
The flavor of strawberries on your tongue
I'm so hungry
So starved of the safety I have in your arms
Desperate for you affection
Such a pathetic sight
Me, begging on my hands and knees
So hopeless
So pathetic
Longing to belong With nobody but you
I've never had anybody smile at me the way you do
Or make me feel so at ease
I'm pathetic for wanting you
Craving

CountlessSlowly I watch these hallways fill with people
So much life
Countless stories
Fears
Dreams
So many my head spins
If not for one
You
Walking alone
Fighting bravely
I see so much
But i only notice you
The grace of your stride
And the shuffle of your hands through your hair
All the minor details of your face
The bring a smile to my lips
Why you?
Out of all the people I could yearn for?
All the tastes and smells that I could explore, why yours?
What makes you so special?
So different?
What is it about you that makes me crumble
Feel broken in the remains of my pride
Deserted but made whole?
What is it about

OwnedYou don't own me
I'm not your fucking property
Maybe you were young once and you were broken as well

But that doesn't mean you know me
Or have any idea what I deal with
The demons I grapple with
When I tell you this I know

All you'll do is laugh at me
And act like you know me better than I do
You'll treat me like I'm stupid
Just hormonal
A teenager

But if you really knew all that I deal with
And that maybe the notes and the words that I escape into
Are the only way I can feel him
You would apologize

If for one second your mind wrapped around the things I struggle with
For once, you'd shut your mouth

Sneak InSneak in the window
I won't tell
Just curl up under the covers with me and hold me
Her brown eyes are closed
I just need one night
Of harmless teasing
Your mouth on my forehead
My fingers digging into your shirt, I'm shaking
Your own tears touch my cheeks when you kiss me-you commit the fatal sin
But with your hands in my hair it doesn't matter
The man and his adulteress burning in the fire they created
Your knuckles stroking my jaw
You kiss me and tighten your hold over and over
Since when its dawn you have to leave
The sun starts rising
And you're crying too
Because you don't want to leave
I make your life b

Shut Up, VoiceI'm not worthless
But you are
Today I'll tell him
He'll just laugh at you
I want to stop
But you can't
I'm tired of being broken
You'll never be whole again
I'm better than this
You are nothing
I'll stand up to them
They'll just hit you again
I could be perfect if I try
Not as perfect as her
I don't want to go down that road again
All you can do is crawl
I'm not going to cut today
You're going to write that note today
They'll have to stop, sometime
It's not going to end

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Love?Is
Love
a concept? Or
something you feel
toward some one?
D

Can't StopI can't stop
Looking at you
Meeting your eyes
Holding your gaze and listen to you holding your breath
Realizing I'm holding mine too
Wondering what's going on inside your head
Are you fighting back temptation?
To push everyone else aside and pull me in close to you?
Kiss me 'till all the hurt is gone
And I'm numb
Struck dumb in this bliss
Or are you indifferent to me?
Wondering why I'm watching you?
Taking in every inch of you?
Memorizing your profile?
And hoping I'm not making a mistake.

Strike A MatchSquatting down in the gravel
Lighting the fire
Setting your face aflame
Finally severing what's left of you from me
I'm so sorry
But I can't do this anymore
I can't keep this up

I've found someone who'll take care of me
(I think)
And even if I'm wrong its worth the risk

I'm tired of waiting up for you
Convincing everyone you'll come back.

I'm leaving you behind
I've done all I can do

Just remember
Even in a year
When I'm still wrapped up in his arms
And madly in love
And I've given him all of me...

I will always remember you.

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Screaming

by *malphasloveshisfries, Sep 19, 2012, 11:54:38 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I won't cry
No matter how many nights I lay here screaming
I will not let a tear fall
I'll seal this bottle shut
Then I'll drink this one down...
Just hazy
Tiny
Miscroscopic red marks until the aching goes away
Night after night
Smear away the gore
Shaking in relief
But whimpering in fear
Because slowly, they will become deeper
And his touch, it will grow colder
And you will find your self screaming
All alone in his house
Pounding on the bedroom door
While he's holding her and you keep screaming
But nobody can hear you
Because you are all alone

Because you cannot stop.

78

18 8 2

Screamingby *malphasloveshisfries

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"And our screaming, is in his screaming.
Our screaming, in the willow tree..."
-Gallows; Coco Rosie-

I feel better now. More psychotic rage stuff and no more sappy angst. I feel at home in this madness! :'D

Ellie.

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Submitted on: September 19, 2012
File Size: 918 bytes
Submitted with: Sta.sh

Views: 78
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Mood: Joy

*SuperGirlSwag Sep 20, 2012

this is GOOD!

Reply

*malphasloveshisfries Sep 20, 2012 Student Writer

Why thank you

Reply

*ZannaCox Sep 20, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I agree with Ivenka. I absolutely adore this poem. My absolute FAVORITE.

Reply

*malphasloveshisfries Sep 20, 2012 Student Writer

are you still up b/c i wanna call yoouu

maybe

...

BEFORE YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE I MISSED YOU SO BAD

Reply

*ZannaCox Sep 20, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

LOl

I'll talk to you tomorrow. I can't find the phone, and my dad and brother I think went to bed already.
Love you girly

Reply

*malphasloveshisfries Sep 20, 2012 Student Writer

love you more!

and sorry about spamming you with shitty pop music.

you'll understand when you check facebook

Reply

*ZannaCox Sep 20, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I don't mind. Need fresh music every once and a while.

Reply

*malphasloveshisfries Sep 22, 2012 Student Writer

omg. xD

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