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How Much?I thought I'd finally caught a break
Maybe after all this pain I've found solitude
But the whole time you were looking at me, you pictured her
Everytime you found your way back to me it meant nothing
That look when you see me, was only because I reminded you of her
But how can you deny that?
The glint in your eyes and the way you let me touch you
This connection I feel to you even now
Do I mean something to you? Or was I just naive?
I still love you.
But I hate myself.
Because I love you.
She Will Never Know...Its ok
I won't say anything
She doesn't have to know
We are alone in this classroom
I may never see you again-make this count
A small secret, between lips teeth and tongue
Breathless, you cool mouth touching mine
Promises don't know
That secrets mean nothing
If you kiss me, I promise she will never know
And when you pull away and still want her-I will completely understand
But when you take a breath and all you want is more
I will be here
Waiting in this empty classroom
Keeping our secret safe
Hold me close
And I promise
She will never know. :heart:
ForeverCan we make this forever?
Curled up on the cement with you
Watching your eyes-blue, the most wonderful color I've ever seen-blink away the sunlight
Listen to your stories
Tumbling off your tongue
My ears are eager to listen to your speech
Its the only thing that I hear, and your eyes on me are the only thing I can feel
Can we just stay here forever?
I promise I won't tell anyone our secrets
But can I just lay in the grass with you 'til night falls?
Then with a kiss, I'll leave you, and I'll count the hours, the minutes, the seconds until I'm near you again
I swear, I'll hold you up
Pick you off the dust covered path when
LiquorKisses twinged with liquor
My imagination? Or a reality
I'm drunk. Shit-faced. Plastered.
All I wanted was you. Was that so hard?
I just needed to lose myself for one night.
Spinning, going down. Throat burning. Eyes drowning.
Does this brokenness ever stop?
Am I ever going to find someone?
I know I'm young, but I've never needed someone more than I wanted him.
So keep them coming. Bottle after bottle.
Whiskey. Vodka. Rum.
I don't care, just make sure I can't feel anything.
Nothing. Especially him.
His kisses on my mouth, my neck and the back of my hands.
And my sobbing, scared to death.
What scared me was how ha
Strike A MatchSquatting down in the gravel
Lighting the fire
Setting your face aflame
Finally severing what's left of you from me
I'm so sorry
But I can't do this anymore
I can't keep this up
I've found someone who'll take care of me
And even if I'm wrong its worth the risk
I'm tired of waiting up for you
Convincing everyone you'll come back.
I'm leaving you behind
I've done all I can do
Even in a year
When I'm still wrapped up in his arms
And madly in love
And I've given him all of me...
I will always remember you.
BecauseI don't know why I hurt so much
It's not like you walked out
Because you never walked in
And that's what hurts the most
Was it because she's prettier than me?
Not loud, strange like me?
Maybe you just like the way she looks next to you
Or the flush in her cheeks, on her flawless skin
She's danity, and cute.
Shes also weak. And breakable.
It's because she's not covered in scars. Isn't it?
Because when she wakes up in the morning she's not thinking about a couple shots?
Wondering if she'll be clever enough to hide the cuts another day
Does that make her better? That she was no baggage?
Escape. Cancer. Addiction.Alchoholism. My escape.
Cutting. My addiction.
Depression. My cancer.
Self-mutilation. Drinking. Mental illness.
My worst enemies, my dearest friends.
Who started what?
Does the sickness start the addiction to the medication?
Or does my addiction become a disease?
Is my escape the problem? Or is it the side effect of addiction? A symptom?
This doesn't begin to illustrate my confusion.
I'm so sick.
Because this is all my fault.
Love is a disease. Its a silent killer. An anthrax.
Sweet, beautiful poison. Found on his lips.
My face is white-I'm dying.
Too sick to move.
I don't want to. I'd rath
My WarriorThis is the best feeling in the world
Bare skin, curled under the blankets next to your sleeping frame
Your hair is still damp, behind your eyes you're smiling
I can see the muscles rippling under your flushed skin as your roll over onto your back
Deep breathing, most peaceful sleep you could wish for
Only because I'm with you
Shielding myself with the quilt
I want to reach out, to touch you
But you look so fragile, so thin and sculpted you might break
A marble statue of a warrior
Protecting me from these demons that plague me
Your eyes are so blue, and deep that I'm scared someone else will want you as bad as I do
Ever AgainI need you
When everyone else turned on me you never did
You'd just shut up and hold me close
You wouldn't let them get me
You were all I ever had
Everyone keeps moving on with out me
Not caring if I stumble in the dust
But every time you'd kneel down and help me to my feet
Even when I was so horrible to you
When I treated you like I did to keep you away
So you would never hurt me like you did today
The mockery and the playful swats were an effort to keep you at bay
To never let you in
Because I'd seen what your kind has done to people like me
Used them, abused them
Chewed them up and spit them out
And I didn't w
All You Are Is MistShut up.
None of you are there
You promised me you would never leave
I trusted you and you abandoned me
You left me like the worthless wretch I am
There is nothing left. Do you hear me?! Nothing!
You aren't there! None of you are there!
So just shut up.
And I'll cut
Under I can see that blood...
Like honey, a drug
Relief so hypnotic I stagger
The only cure...
You...my precious lover..
You are gone
All you are is mist.
AliveI want to speak, cry for help, but I don't say a word.
I want you to hear me, so I cover your ears.
I want someone like you to see me, so I blindfold you.
You make me feel like I'm not worthless.
I'm not neglected or alone anymore.
You're the only thing that makes me feel alive again.
You make me feel like I'm worth the trouble, I'm an even trade for the pain, and all the heartache I put you through.
How hard is it just to lean down, whisper in my ear those four worthless words:
"You are worth it."
How hard is it? Just to hold my hand and tell me that things are going to be alright?
That this isn't as fucked up as
All We Are Not...All I am is numbers
I am not expected to breathe of feel
Only think, and work
To my parent's, I am nothing but a GPA
Head down, under the table clutching a pen
Fighting every instinct telling me to do it
Dig in as deep as I can
Struggle and try to end it
The only question they ask isn't about me
I don't even think they care
Don't believe me, because I'm too perfect to want to die
But it doesn't matter
To them, its never enough.
All For HimDon't you understand?
I don't cut for him
I want to stop because of him
I want to be someone he could be proud of
He makes me want to be better than I am
He is my muse,
He is my entire world
And he can barely remember my name
I am just another face in his crowd
I'm not the one he loves
Or the one he wants
But it does't matter to me
I just want to stop
UnderstandHave you ever felt worthless?
Like no thought that came out of your head was worth while?
Do you understand what it feels like to have lost yourself inside his eyes?
Can you sympathize with just wanting to reach out and touch him.
Not even to speak to him
Just to hold him
The one thing that keeps you sane
The thoughts of his smile spinning through your head
Feeling him hold you
Dreaming of him
But knowing he is so far away from you
Do you understand
How it feels to love someone
That will never love you back
Alright...You make me feel beautiful
Like all my flaws perfect me
Just looking at you makes me smile
Meeting your eyes turns me to nothing
But I'm something
You care about
And even though this affair will be short
I don't care
Because you make everything seem worth it again
You pinch the sun between your forefingers
And pull it back to the sky
You make him turn and run
When you smile I know
What I didn't think was possible
Is with you
The perfection of your eyes makes me
That I'm going to be alright.
In DreamsI can feel you in the air around me
Thickening it like syrup
Sticky and intoxicating
Kissing me, touching me from head to toe
Stroking back the hair from my face
I try to squirm away
But the feelings of you are still there
Fingers and hands like wisps of smoke
Dragging over my skin with the lightest touch, torturing me
I clench my hands into fists
And try not to think about you
The way your eyes look when they watch me
How my heart pounds when you touch me
Lips trailing down my neck and face
"You are so beautiful, and perfect. The love of my life. Mine. Forever."
I try to back into the wall
Heart + SoulI want to grab you
Vows be damned! I want to feel the weight of your body
The texture of your curly hair in my fingers
Pressing me to the wall
Feel your kisses on my bare skin
Devouring me like a drug
Wrapped in your fever, this heat trapped between us
Shred clothing and wrap into you
Feel your exhaustion, share every emotion, heartbeat and tenderness
Everything that is you
Your face buried in my neck
Your desire, the love you've kept locked up
Touching every precious inch, Promising your love
From this small moment to every time we touch
Here on out
Sharing everything with you: m
Fall For YouI don't care about you.
I swear, I don't
I don't want to play games anymore
I don't need anyone; I've been fine on my own
But every time I see you I crumble
And I can't see anyone but you in this room
And when you look at me I stumble, hard
I fall even further down
Because your eyes trap me in
And I want to deny it, but it's impossible to
The more I try to convince myself I'm lying, the more I know I'm not
I am falling in love with you
I am drowning, and sinking lower into the bottom of the ocean
But I'm higher than I've ever been before
This is the most brilliant, and most perfect unfolding
And I can't begin to
Don't ForgetI've forgotten what it feels like
To be held so close I can't even breathe
And the taste of a warm mouth
Stroking over mine
My fragile body-with all its cuts and scars-against something rock soild
I can't tell you how much I need this
Just to feel life
A steady heartbeat
The rhythm making me whole
Reminding me how it feels
To be kissed nad loved
Feeling somethign not known to be
I can't remember
The hollow in me swallowed everything
So kiss me
Show me what its like to feel you close to me
So I don't have to imagine anymore
This Feeling...What is this feeling?
My heart stopping, then accelerating
Making up fro lost time
Feels like a nightmare to me
Because this is lust: pounding in my veins when I se you
Trying to take my eyes off of you
And failing, miserably
I love you.
I love you I love you I love you.
I don't think I could say it enough
It was never like this with him
Almost like he was paper
And everytime we tried to finish the story we fell apart
But with you
Not only do you fill the hole in me
But you overwhelm me
All the things I want to say to you are threatening to spill out
When you look at me I bite my tongue to stop
SkyYour eyes are like a sky
The deepest, richest blue
Cloudless, perfect, a void of escape
Not a sea taht I could drown in
Resting my head on the crook of your neck
Breathing in clean air
Instead of a plague you are a cure
The sweetest antidote
This is a dream
Its unnatural-the way you make me feel
Is this a fantasy?
Or is it about to become my reality?
Keep in Touch!
`ChewedKandi has certainly gone out of her way to keep the vector community on the right path. Always making sure that her talents are infinitely scalable, Sharon has put her bezier curves to excellent use, and firmly anchored herself as an inspirational leader. We're absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for June 2013 to `ChewedKandi. Congratulations, Sharon! Read More